Today is the last day of my Ignatian Spirituality Retreat. Can you believe it?
It feels like an epic journey. Has it really been a full year? A full year of emotional ups and downs, of psychological examination, of spiritual growth, lots of consolations and desolations, countermovements and movements towards God, and most of all, freedom.
The Ignatian Retreat wasn't perfect. There were times when I wanted to quit or questioned whether this was really all that good for me. But you know, I'm glad I did it. Last night I reflected on what I received from this retreat.
Here are some below:
1. One year ago, I looked at my Bible and didn't want to touch that thing for fear of brainwashing or a severe case of the fundamentalist scabies. Now, I am at peace with it for what it is and what it isn't. It doesn't have power over me but it nourishes me when needed.
2. A year ago, I didn't talk to God for fear of talking to a made up voice in my head that would make me do shitty things that seemed Christian. Now, when I talk to God, I hold all things loosely and can discern what is love and what is not.
3. I feel really free in who I am. I don't feel entrapped by religion. I don't even feel like I have to be any particular religion. I feel called to be me.
4. On that note, I have grown in my desire for authenticity and humility. Humble enough to be my true self and not fake any thing more or less.
That's it for now. Gotta go for my final session with M.! xoxo, Hanna