Yesterday, I went swimming after work in the outdoor pool down the street from my place. I haven't been swimming all summer even though I got a gym pass just for that reason, and as I walked down the hill to the pool, I noticed with dismay that there was a TON of people there. Oh my jiggly butt.
Once I arrived, I realized there was a pool party for all the international students that came to UCI for the summer program. They were sitting around in dense clusters all around the pool, playing volleyball, stripping down to their undies, peeing in the pool (I swear, this one Japanese kid stuck his butt in the pool in his undies and I really think he did it just to take a piss).
Not so thankfully, I had to walk past hordes of bikini-clad 18 year-olds in my Speedo swimsuit that I had bought for $12 at Marshalls. You know why it was only $12? Because it says "LIFEGUARD" across the chest.
Um, yup. I couldn't resist a $12 swimsuit. Plus there were no other swimsuits my size and I desperately wanted a one piece and not a two piece for lap swimming. And I did not want to pay $70 at a sporting goods store. I was really questioning the merit of that decision as I walked to my lane, trying to hold my goggles casually against my chest. My biggest fear is that someone will be drowning and everyone will look at me to save that person. My superficial fear is that the lifeguards will stare at me while I swim and wonder how in the world I was ever a lifeguard.
I swam and swam and swam and then at the end of my practice, I waited for five minutes trying to figure out how to get out of the pool without having to flash my chest at the five lifeguards hanging out right in front of my lane. In the end, I realized, there was no way I was going to get across the three other lanes to the ladder on the other side of the pool without messing up someone's practice so I just bit the bullet and scooted out of my lane. Avoiding eye contact.
I know. I'm so silly. I'm sure nobody cared.
I walked back to my lounge chair with my shoulders hunched up and then I realized, wait a minute, I feel hella good. Like HELL YEAH good! And just like that, my self-consciousness went out the window. Damn. My body was sending me kisses and love notes and saying, thank you thank you thank you, i love you, thank you for taking me swimming. It was exhilarating. I recommend it.