J. was gone all week visiting family in Kansas and attending his brother's wedding in Ohio.
A couple days before he left, I started to feel slightly panicked. Who was going to help me wake up in the mornings? Greet me when I came home from work? Talk me through my research questions?
I moved down to Orange County to be with J. as he goes through grad school. And whenever he leaves, it is painfully clear that the main reason I am choosing to live in Orange County has just flown away.
J. left last Monday, and I dreaded the thought of waking up by myself. I am a horrible morning person and sleep till the last minute. J., sweetheart that he is, has honed his waking Hanna up skills to the tee.
I was so worried that I wouldn't wake up on time that I set two alarms. I had no problems. I got to work on time with my makeup on and a cute outfit to boot.
When I came home from work, I thought the gaping silence would gnaw at me.
Instead, I reveled in it. It was so nice to watch whatever I wanted to on Hulu! It was so much easier to keep the apartment clean! It was so nice to have quiet and space and time for myself. I could sleep in the middle of the bed, ah! The joys of living alone rushed back to me, and I seriously wondered if J. and I weren't better off living apart. I remembered what I had so desperately clung to in the last days before getting married: I LOVE living alone!!!!
My good friend came out and spent a couple of nights with me. Two words. Pillow Talk. We went out to Crystal Cove State Park and enjoyed a dinner overlooking the ocean and talked late into the night with hot cups of tea.
Jan came out on Friday and brought this absolutely addicting Thai chili pork dish along with a baggy of the chili mix straight from her parent's trip to Thailand. Anyone who brings me food like that goes straight to my heart. What is in that chili mix? I guess red chilis, fish sauce, shrimp paste, sugar, and crack.
And on Saturday, I had dinner at C&O Trattoria in Marina Del Rey with K. and S., both fabulously liberated Episcopalian women who made me happy to be me.
All you single men and women out there, ENJOY the single life. Revel at sitting around naked in your apartment with nary a sexual reaction in sight. Eat cake all to yourself. Watch The Bachelorette without shame. And sleep in the middle of your bed.