I remember gulping when reading Mireille Giuliano in Women, Work & the Art of Savoir Faire: Business Sense & Sensibility when she said something along the lines of , "Dreams change. You move on. You get new dreams."
I used to think dreams were this true spiritual thing that never changed, that was part of our soul makup, and that we needed to achieve them no matter what in order to be true to ourselves. I lived in fear when my dreams seemed so out of reach. I'm learning that Guiliano was right. Dreams do change. And it's ok. In fact, it's wonderful.
I've been feeling that keenly this year. I dreamt so much of far off lands. I wanted to be a world traveler and be a writer and live in the most beautiful French provinces with patisseries around the corner. Of course, I'd still love to. But strangely enough, I feel content, less afraid that I'm missing out and less eager to just pick up and leave with abandon. And when I look back, I see that indeed I was a world traveler although it may not have been for years on end like I imagined being a world traveler to look like. I have tromped around India, traipsed around East Asia and Southeast Asia, visited friends all around the States, lived in England, spent the most beautiful white Christmas in Norway, visited France multiple times, caravaned around South Africa, spent a week at the United Nations, and went to a glorious wedding in Italy with some of my best friends, and ate salty chips and got drunk off a shiny red goblet of le Spritz in Venice.
Through it all, I've learned a lot about myself and life. I've learned that when it comes to the States, I am a West Coast girl at heart. Plunk me down in any major city along the west coast and I will be incredibly happy. Vancouver BC, Seattle, Portland, San Francisco, Los Angeles, San Diego. I've learned that true friendships don't die even when years and distance passes by. And I'm learning that dreams that seemed so urgent at one time can fade to contentment and new dreams can emerge. Dreams that seem so far from anything I thought my bohemian spirit ever wanted. Dreams that involve close family and friends, a community, being grounded in a place, and taking root. My dreams are about creating a home and daily life that nourishes me and gives me what I need to be happy, healthy, and work on creative projects.
Funny how dreams change. Funny beautiful.